Why Your Self-Talk Matters as a Parent
“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” - 1 Timothy 4:8
It’s Thanksgiving day. You’ve recently decided to work on your diet, and Thanksgiving will be no excuse for you to give up the 1200 calories-a-day diet that you decided you’re adhering to. You’ve stuck it out through the big meal, and now it's dessert time. Your kid runs up to you and asks why you aren’t eating dessert like they are. “Because, baby, it has too many calories in it. Mommy can’t eat that.” You’re not-so-secretly both sad and starving as you watch everyone around you eat.
We’ve heard these kinds of comments our whole lives, and some of us have made these kinds of comments for as long as we can remember. We live in an image obsessed society that places value on both men and women for how they look. The fitness industry makes millions of dollars by preying on our insecurities. We spend hours on social media staring at other people’s images.
We have been sent messages since childhood that our worth is dependent on what we look like, but the reality is this - God made you, He created you, and He has a purpose and a plan for you. Every time we allow self-hatred to replay in our minds and fill our conversation, we are telling God that His creation isn’t good enough.
Another reality is, when we talk badly about our bodies, others are listening. Here are conversations to illustrate what young ears may actually be hearing.
You: “Because, baby, it has too many calories in it. Mommy can’t eat that.”
Your Student: Do I have to stop eating it too?
Your Child: I like your hair today!
You: “No it looks TERRIBLE! My hair is so frizzy and awful.”
Your Child: Does mine look too frizzy?
A great way that we can love our kids is by refraining from self-deprecation. If you wouldn’t say it about someone else, don’t say it about yourself! There’s nothing wrong with taking care of the body God has given us, but obsessing over our bodies sends a message to our kids that their looks are the most important thing about them, too.
4 action steps:
Refrain from saying mean things about yourself in front of your kids.
Encourage health as the goal over appearance.
Work on your own inner self talk!
Stop the constant input of comparison. If social media perpetuates this problem, take a break!
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” - Philippians 4:8