Talking to Your Kids About War

Have you been obsessing over the news out of Ukraine this past week? I know I have! Our world has been turned upside down by a war in Ukraine. But thankfully, your household and your kids don’t need to be turned upside down by this topic. War is a scary thing for kids and parents. But I love the opportunity it provides us to point our kids to God.

We need to talk about the war because it is a reality of the fallen world we live in. Avoiding these realities and acting like they don’t exist, won’t help anyone. This is a topic that regularly appears in the Bible and our world. Our kids need a worldview that can honestly wrestle with these topics.

Here are 4 tips for talking with your kids about war.

1. Answer the questions your kids ask.

I would approach this topic as carefully as I would approach a conversation on Hell. There is no set age in which it becomes appropriate to have this conversation. Instead, allow your kids to guide the conversation and the depth. Our world, church, and families are talking about this war…so it WILL come up in conversation. When your kids ask a question or it comes up in conversation, just answer the question as simply as possible. Try to avoid too many details, and allow kids to ask follow up questions.

Don’t be tempted to answer follow up questions that you assume. My daughter might ask about the war, but I must not assume her follow-up question is, “Will there be a war here?” If I were to answer that assumed question, I may be planting unneeded fears into her mind.

2. Turn off the TV.

I was 10 years old on September 11. I remember watching the Twin Towers collapse on live television. My mom wisely turned off the TV soon afterwards. I remember her saying we didn't need to see the bloody images on repeat all day long.

A wise and informed Christian will watch the news, but will not obsess over the news. Please be informed and honest with your kids, but please protect them from gory images and stories that will cause unneeded fear.

3. Point your kids to the truth of the Bible.

Our pastor said this past Sunday that a mature Christian “does not ignore the sadness [of a fallen world] but must not succumb to it.” It’s important to be honest with our kids about the grief and destruction that war brings, but we can’t stop there. As a parent, it is my job to point my kids to Christ in every situation.

Check out Bible passages such as Psalm 46, Psalm 62:7-8, Psalm 27:1-3, and Hebrews 4:16. Use these conversations to read God’s Word together as a family.

4. Pray as a family.

Use hard conversations as an opportunity to pray with your kids. Point them to the hope and power that we have in prayer. Find a prayer resource such as THIS one from SEND Relief. Pray at the end of your conversation, or maybe find a regular time to pray as a family. As God works in the future, don’t forget to circle back around to point out to your kids when God answers these prayers.

For more resources on parenting, visit Pastor Luke’s blog at www.thepastorparent.com.